The Observers

Here, I am:

Thinking breathing

Running my mouth

As per usual because everything matters.

My carousel is spinning, sure,

But it’s all relative

I see no movement

I make no movement because

There, I am:

Sitting on the eaves

Dropping my gaze to watch

Myself

Spin around and around,

Watching that carousel

Propel me into motion

I shake my head and stare on.

I see

Myself

Move around and around

Yet go nowhere.

There is no destination now, for

Here, I am

Immersed in my world

Trying to breath

Life into my life;

A fog has rolled in so now

All my stationary friends are hidden

In the deceptive haze

I want

To get off but

My ride has not yet ended

So I stay –

But hey,

Who is that watching me from the eaves over

There, I am

Gazing upon myself

Noting my inactions

And bad decisions

Pitying my naiveté, my stupidité

Wishing for a moment there

Was something I could do

But no;

But at least I know I am here

At least I know I am

Here, I am

There, I am

On the carousel

Participating,

On the eaves,

Patiently waiting

For the ride to stop but

I suppose it is not yet time.

For now I stay:

I sit here on the carousel

And wait there for the closing bell.

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Written in September 2017: Oftentimes I have the feeling as if I am watching myself progress through life; I have the power to realize what I am doing yet am powerless to change my path no matter how obscured it may become. Sometimes it is like I either forget to be self-aware or forget to enjoy whichever moment in life I see myself in.

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